As cliche as it sounds “true happiness lies with loving yourself first”, it has some if not whole truth to it, since happiness could translate different to everyone of us. Since the begining of feminist movement back in mid 19th century women are more liberated and have a voice of their own. They have gone against the norms and rules of patriarchal societies to be more self loving and independent. Women felt more liberal where they consider the highest authority as their “feelings”. But did we really achieved the true meaning only doing the surface level work of indulging ourselves into what’s believed to be the ideal self love kit.
Is self love all about taking time off , exercising and eating healthy? Or it is more than that! I feel its more about awareness and realisations of one’s self. Having the freedom and courage to go the uncharted territory of knowing yourself more than just physically.
In a physical level long walks on the beach or being healthy and eating right are things you should prioritize for self love. But what resonates me with most are not the physical level self love, but mental or psychological level. How one encounters the difficult emotions. Going deep and see the old patterns that arises when there is a difficult emotions. How uneasy it is to be alone and why. What triggers the emotions and why do you react the way you do in certain circumstances. The answer to these questions are not easy to find. You have to be willing to love you enough to go deep into the root causes of your emotions and the reason why you feel the need to go out side yourself for love or acceptance. Is it an evolutionary problem? Or how our upbringing has shaped us into?
Self love is more about being able to get comfortable with your own company. Creating boundries that might hurt others but in the long haul it gives you space and time to find your true self not in related to anybody but you. We all have that inner child we should work on . We are all broken a little. The foundation of our emotional well being doesnt get a very good start as most of our parents themselves were limited and had their own emotional traumas to deal with. You cant be sufficient to you or anyone else unless you know yourself more. Go under the skin to do your work. For any healthy relationship to thrive the one you have with yourself sets the bar.
Feeding good nutrients is essential to keep your physical body healthy and regular excerise and taking time off or taking yourself out on a date is really good ways to pamper yourself. But what if your mind is not coherent with your body? Do you think any of this will give you the necessary benefit of what it portrays like?
As the saying goes you cant pour from an empty glass, fill your mind and soul with positivity even when its too difficult at times. Iam a big believer that what you think has more significant effect on your physiology than any other thing you do to keep your self healthy. Feed your mind with good thoughts. Good thoughts alone is not sufficient to instill those values on you. You need to repetitively remind your mind that you are loving, you are worth. Its a daily work to practice self love.
Self love is also giving the permission to express yourself without the fear of judgement. Living and being your authentic self without the need to confirm what someone else believed right. Thats when you truly feel love and liberated. Freedom to know yourself more and being able to acquire the necessary knowledge to live free from outside noises is the ultimate self love.
Allow yourself time to reflect on your thoughts and desires. Question every emotion, sensation, and vibrations you feel on your body. Learn to keep a record of these feelings and try to keep the volume of outside noises as little as possible. So that you can listen to your self, what you really feel with as much little noise from outside. Thats when self love is a medicine that boost your immunity. Thats when all the rest of the physical level work really works on you.
